The Cullens In The Hood
by OhHaleYes
Summary: What happens when our favourite vampire family moves into a ghetto neighbourhood? Wrote when I was bored, purely for entertainment purposes : Enjoy.


**I wrote this purely for my own amusement whilst I was bored. But I decided to post it, and see if you guys liked it or not. Its more for humour, its not a serious piece. So just enjoy ;)**

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"Alright, now, please promise me that none of you will over react to this" Carlisle said, his voice quite grave. He was stood infront of the rest of the Cullens, who were all nervously seated on the sofas, his hands folded behind his back. They all nodded, and the head of the clan began, "I've found us our new home. It was very hard to find, we've lived in most places now... Our new home is on Sprawly Lane" Carlisle braced himself for the eruption. He was not disappointed.

At the same instant, all of them were on their feet, yelling their protests. Carlisle shook his head, "I'm sorry, but its all we have" He looked at them,"You can all go your own way, you know that. So if you want to, I understand". The younger vampires all looked at their 'mother', Esme. She was smiling at them, as if agreeing, but they could see the pain and hope in her eyes.

"Of course we're coming with you. Covens stick together" Said Edward in his smooth, velvet voice. The others nodded, a little reluctantly.

"Its not as if we'd be in any danger" Emmett pointed out, flexing his huge muscles.

"But _Sprawly Lane_!" Rosalie cried in despair.

For once, Rosalie had every right to act the drama queen. Sprawly Lane was a notorious street, located in the downtown area. It was shabby and completely lower class. It also had a high crime rate, nicknamed 'the hood' of Washington. The Cullens were rich, with expensive tastes and clean records. The thought of them turning up in the gangsters paradise was bizarre. They all sat down again, over the shock.

"I don't like the thought of Alice in danger" Jasper said quietly.

"What have I just said, Jaz?" Emmett reminded him.

"I know, I know. But I still don't want her in a place like that" He said.

"Oh come on, Jasper! Everything will be fine. It'll be an experience for us" Alice smiled at her husband, entwining their hands together.

"When do we leave?" Edward asked.

"Tomorrow evening. It shouldn't take us long to pack" Carlisle said.

"My beautiful house" Esme sighed.

"I'm sure you'll make our new one just as lovely" Carlisle said kindly, placing a hand on Esme's shoulder.

They dispersed from the room in their couples, each going to a different place to do different things. Alice knew how messy her bedroom was, so she went upstairs to tidy it and sort out her wardrobe, Jasper following. Emmett and Rosalie went to the garage. Carlisle and Esme went to the kitchen where their vault was hidden, containing all of their valuables. Edward decided to go for a walk through the forrest.

"I'm actually quite looking forward to this" Emmett said cheerly as he polished the red convertible belonging to Rosalie. The owner was lay under the car, tinkering around.

"Only you could be so optimistic and unbothered by this" She sighed.

"I'll show those so called 'gangsters" Emmett chuckled.

An hour later, they were all back in the living room. Carlisle had connected the computer to the projector, so that the Internet page he was on was displayed on the plain white wall. He was pointing to various places.

"I managed to find a website that might be helpful" He explained, "If we're going to be going to the hood, we need to learn the slang, 'ight?" He said.

"What" Edward said slowly, "The hell did you just say?" he looked incredulous. They all did.

"Yes, it is a little strange. But we need to learn the limbo" Carlisle smiled.

Emmett looked at the wall, and then to Edward, "Yeah, so shut up fool!" He teasingly growled in a very different voice.

"Oh please, I cannot believe that this is happening" Rosalie rolled her eyes.

"Yo, you better tell your bitch to shut up!" Edward said, playing along.

Rosalie glared, "You _so_ did not call me a bitch!" She hissed, standing up slowly.

"Ooh, smack that bitch up!" Alice said, her eyes lighting up with the excitement.

"Can we please refrain from swearing so much?" Esme asked, they all looked at her, and she coughed, "Fo shizzle" She added.

"What up homie?" Emmett said, flopping down next to Jasper.

"There is no way on this Earth that I'm going to start talking like that" Jasper said, totally dead pan. Then a sneaky grin played on his lips, "I'm just playin' with ya'll! I was just trippin'!" He shouted.

"Brilliant!" Carlisle cried. He crossed the room and went back to the computer. He typed something in quickly and the image on the wall changed, "I also purchased some new clothing for us all" He said.

Hoodies with vulgar sayings and thick gold jewerly was displayed on the wall. There were also scanty clothes, which Esme, Rosalie and Alice were feeling quite nervous about wearing. They spent the rest of the night surfing the web and learning all they needed to so that they would fit in well in their new home. _Fo shizzle._

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